school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
