I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
