its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize
