you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
So much Jack, so little girl.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
