We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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