Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
