I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
