Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize
