census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
