Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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