DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
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