Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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