I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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