..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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