If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
im calling her cock vulture from now on
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
