We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize