What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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