You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize