I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize
