What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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