every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
