I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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