just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
