Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
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