Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
So I just went to clothing optional bar
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
