Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
