i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
