She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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