dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
