Having a random hookup so left but love u
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
