just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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