Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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