I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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