Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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