I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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