dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
