That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
