belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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