1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
You should frame my arrest warrant.
not ubering you a puppy
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
