It's Friday. Sex?
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
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