You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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