I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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