Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
