Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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