I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
