Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
