dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
