you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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