You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
