You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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