o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Is it penis luge time yet?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
