I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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