Yo dont text me then not text me
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize