I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
