Me too!
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
