i think i have herpe
just one?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
