she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
