Can Purell be used as lube?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
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My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
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A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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