I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
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