i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
